Dr. Red Nose’s Diary – Fortunately, We Are Very Good at Being There

That day, in the Chang Gung Children’s Ward, we received some worrying news from the social worker—Xiaoxin’s cancer cells had spread from her lower leg to her lungs. We also learned that her father was trying hard to conceal his anxiety so she would not notice. We discussed using a performance to encourage her and help her father set aside some of his heavy feelings for a little while.

As we excitedly walked into the ward, ready to bring her a surprise, we froze when we pulled back the curtain—the spot where the hospital bed had originally been was empty. We turned to the boy sitting nearby and played a name-guessing game with him, only to learn that his older sister, Xiaoxin, had just been taken into the operating room.

Toward the end of the hospital service that day, we were taken into the intensive care unit, where we saw Xiaoxin. She lay on the hospital bed, both hands covered with needles and tubes, unable to move as she received treatment. She did not cry or fuss, only softly saying, “It hurts” and “I’m scared.” Tears slid from the corners of her eyes and, because she was lying on her back, pooled between her eye sockets and the bridge of her nose, forming a tiny lake.

Polo gently told her that we had just gone to her room and could not find her, and that we had also had an amusing name-guessing game with her younger brother. Taoqi softly repeated, “Your tears have pooled in your eye sockets. Would you like me to wipe them away?” His words carried a hint of playful humor as he tried to reassure her, but Taoqi’s own eyes were already glistening with tears.

When faced with a child’s suffering, you truly feel helpless.

Fortunately, we are very good at being there.

We played the guitar and hummed softly, letting the melody pass through the noise of the ward and letting her know: “We are here. You are not alone.”

After the day’s performances ended, we discussed how to perform. We thought about how to be there for the children on the premise of being “effective without creating a burden”: adding vocal humming to the guitar playing to make the melody warmer and better able to carry through the ward environment; reducing questions in our conversations to avoid making the children feel pressured to respond, and instead using gentle narration to tell stories related to them so they would know that we were always there; and although their bodies might be covered with needles and tubes, making it impossible to hug them directly, we could use soft feathers or silk scarves to provide touch without causing pain… and so on.

At the end of that day, we used stickers as a symbol of our companionship, placing one on the inside of the hospital bed rail and telling Xiaoxin: “This way, we can keep being with you.” Even after we left, she could still feel our presence.

The Medical Clown’s mission is not only to bring laughter, but also to offer gentle companionship.

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